Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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