I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
