you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
