in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
