Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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