Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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