so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
