You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize