went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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