I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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