there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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