listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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