I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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