Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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