Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sorry about my life...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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