No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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