i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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