this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
