Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.