We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.