Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?