I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.