You're completely useless in the revolution.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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