Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
