Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How does one acquire holy water?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
