the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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