Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
