Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
