he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
