every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
bring money and cleavage
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
