I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
