Whod you bang
If that was your dad, he is hot
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
