I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
