Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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