just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
bring money and cleavage
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
