Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
