we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
