Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
