dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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