Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
