You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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