Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
