3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize