I wanna bring you to show and tell
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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