So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
