Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
