TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my shit smells like andre
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
