Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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