so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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