Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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