Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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