somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
