I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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