Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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