i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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