You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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