you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize