I puked a lego.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
