Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
