Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i out mim tonsoeep
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