You can't motorboat a personality
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
