ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You took a bar mat shot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
