break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
