what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
