Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize