Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
