she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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