yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
