Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
